Paula Toland Calhoun

Paula Toland Calhoun, Age 92, of Bryn Mawr, PA on June 12, 2020.

Paula was the first-born child of Drew and Ann Toland in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on July 31st, 1927. Her childhood years during the Great Depression were spent with an extended family in a Center City home on Pine Street, with cherished summers in Cape May, New Jersey. There she learned the importance of family and education, and the joy from music, including piano playing, singing, and dance that would last a lifetime. She was a mentor and role model for her beloved younger sister, Sheila, and unlike most girls of that era, learned about sports by attending many football and other games with the father she adored. Her academic pursuits earned her a scholarship to the University of Pennsylvania and a bachelors’ degree with the Class of 1949, along with her lifetime association with the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority. Penn offered a window to the wider world, stoked her natural curiosity, and introduced her to Joe Calhoun, her husband of 66 years.

With her many talents and education, Paula could have traveled many paths, but she chose wife, mother, and homemaker and pursued that mission with passion, intelligence, and determination. Her inquisitive mind and intellectual gifts fueled a love of literature and learning that she passed on to her ever-grateful children. Her competitive nature and love of sports served her well as the parent of three athletes, where she was an active participant in all their activities. Paula was always there for her children whether as a fan, a teacher, a coach and, when necessary, a fierce advocate; she was intimidated by no one. These passions extended to her five grandchildren, as did her lifelong love of knitting, with each grandchild receiving her beautiful handmade sweaters.

Although a Philadelphian to her core, Paula’s support for her husband’s career moved her to Duxbury, MA and Little Silver, NJ, then retirement in Lady Lakes FL, before their return to Bryn Mawr, PA in 2007. Paula’s uncanny ability to engage people from all walks of life and quickly find a connection helped enormously with these moves, as did her passion for tennis and, later in life, golf. She was a loyal and devoted friend to many, enjoying her bridge groups and book clubs, and famous for her delicious homemade bread pudding provided to those when sick.

Paula was a formidable character with a big personality, wonderful wit, and great sense of fun and style. She was active, engaged, and full of life to the end, with no one at her recent 70th reunion at Penn believing she was old enough to be Class of ’49. Her illness and decline were sudden and rapid. While the virus did not infect her, the isolation of the pandemic robbed her of regular human connection that was her lifeblood. Her final blessing for her family was her clarity about the fact that her time had come. She was unafraid and certain that it was time to see what is next. We all hope that there’s dancing, laughter, stories, and a duet or two with Joe Calhoun. God bless you, Paula. You will be missed every day by those who loved you, but never forgotten.

Paula is survived by sons Drew (Mineko) and Jay (Patricia) (grandsons Ryan, Samuel and Maxwell), and daughter Paula (Steve) (granddaughters Blair and Lili) and sister Sheila O’Connor.

Relatives and friends are invited to her Funeral Mass, Saturday, August 1, 2020, 11:00 AM at St. John Neumann Church, 380 Highland Lane, Bryn Mawr, PA  19010.  Interment private

In lieu of flowers, contributions in Paula’s memory may be made to the Bryn Mawr Hospital Foundation, 130 S. Bryn Mawr Ave, Bryn Mawr, PA 19010.